i don't have any idea what to write first. my thoughts have been scattered to all of places lately and my short-term memory has gone practically non-existent and i have SO MUCH to do and i've been getting about no sleep and i'm frustrated as hell and irritated all the time.

also if you skip the two long useless paragraphs ahead you're gonna read ( Read more... )

today was sure to suck from when i left brittany to go sleep yesterday, at four something am. i couldn't fall asleep, and that was something that hasn't happened to me for months ( Read more... )

i don't care anymore.
i'm not sure if that's good or bad, but i can't even seem to care enough to consider that.
sure, i still get jealous... and then i tell myself that i don't care and for once, it seems to be working.
remember how upset i was about losing our babies? well not anymore.
remember how they used to be on my mind all the time? well not ( Read more... )

This was going to be pretty but the reason why it's not is listed at the end.

• woke up on alarm at three
• took last batch of antibiotics
• made a list of tasks
• hung flatmates' clothes
• went out with dogs for an hour

i hate feeling like this.

when we were through, every time i was about to open the messenger to check if i didn't miss her signing in, i stopped myself and thought, i don't need you, i don't care if you're online, look i don't even check my messenger every five minutes anymore. and i felt satisfied, proud of myself, i took it (or wanted to take it) ( Read more... )

now this is great. since friday i've only eaten chips (and lemon beer) and no matter how much i know i have to, at every thought of food my stomach does a flip. even when it keeps rumbling.

and i couldn't sleep, because the fucking dog is fucking awful and NOISY. scratching claws against the bottom of the cage, whining or snoring. awful. plus i was ( Read more... )

wow i feel so awful i don't even know where to start the description.
but i bet that's just me being tired. watching friends was helping for a while.
and seriously i don't want anyone to read this but i need to let it out.
i wanted it on tumblr, but you know, however slight the chance is, i don't feel safe there.

i hate the drama, i think we'll falling ( Read more... )

Yesterday, I bought my first pack of shaving razors.
Today, I got my first razorcuts. Or, several of them.

What the fuck happened to livejournal while I was away...?!

Anyway.
I should mold up a proper livejournal post when I have more time... or right now. I don't have time nor I don't feel like it, but who cares.
....................seeems like I'm ( Read more... )

You know these kinds of situations when you tell yourself - this kind of epic failure can only happen to me? Do you feel like you could use a laugh? Why not let me tell you my latest story? The one when I arrive home and instead of five rat females I left in the closed cage, I only find four.

It starts with how I left the flat in yesterday morning, ( Read more... )

Tonight, I was supposed to RP. Brit came online sometime around one am, but then she had to leave for a while and I decided to take a nap, seeing as I was completely trashed. ...of course none of my four alarms set didn't wake me.

We were supposed to come to the dog training place this morning at 9am to see the army kynologists perform what ( Read more... )